But Where's the Spark?

Some call it love at first sight. Fireworks. Je ne sais quoi. Instant attraction. Chemistry. Whatever you call it, most if not all of us have experienced it at one point in time or another: you met someone and went, "Whoa." They swept you off your feet and it was game over. You were hooked. This is what most people crave and what society has told us to expect when it comes to falling in love. They say if you're not feeling that spark, something is wrong and it's time to move on to the next. You'll feel it with the person you're meant to be with is what we're told. But do you really? 

There is a show which just started its 6th season on January 2nd called "Married at First Sight." A team of experts pick from thousands of people who apply to find 3 couples to get married at first sight without ever having met or knowing anything about the other person. Forget going on a blind date - this is blind marriage. The experts match them based on ...

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Expectations: Are They Helping or Hurting You?

I remember one day in high school hanging out with one of my closest friends after school. Sitting in her bedroom, she pulled out a list for me of criteria she had developed for what she wanted her future husband to be like. One of the criteria stood out to me (and it was high up on the list too): play guitar. I remember thinking to myself, "Why does that matter at all? You can be perfectly happy with someone even if they don't play guitar. These are really unrealistic expectations." Fast forward a number of years and she's now married with two children. I'm 99% confident her husband doesn't play guitar. 

Unfortunately, there are so many of us like her: we have an idea in our head of the "ideal partner". We have a checklist or criteria, even if we haven't formally written them down. Some of it makes sense and is quite realistic. And some of it...probably is completely irrelevant. I watch a show called "My Giant ...

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Introduction: A Blog About This Blog

Likely you’ve stumbled upon this blog because you are looking for answers about this thing we call love. It is complicated, elusive, and tricky while also being one of the biggest sources of happiness and joy when we can find it and do it right. You’re on your path for answers and that path has led you here. Thank you for including me as part of your journey and trusting me to be on this path with you along the way. Everyone we know is stumbling through love doing the best they can on any given day to be a better partner or just to be a better person, period. I’m no different. I am not going to claim to be a love expert (what does that even mean anyways?). I’ve seen firsthand being in therapy myself how beneficial it is to have another person help you see things in a different light, get really clear about what’s working and not working, and learn about the things you really want and need. I am here to do the same for you.

So…what is th ...

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