See the Forest, not the Trees.

On July 14, 2018, I became engaged. My fiancé hung pictures of us from the ceiling of a beautiful gazebo that he lit with candles. He got down on one knee and asked me to be his wife. I said yes without a second thought. When the second thought came it was, “Whoa, we’re going to have to plan a wedding!” While I had day-dreamed on and off for years about what I would like my wedding to look like, it hit me that now was the time to actually plan it. To look at venues, find catering, pick out a dress, and flowers and eventually walk down the aisle and say, “I do.”

You may have heard of the expression “see the forest, not the trees.” What it means is that it’s more important to see the big picture than the small details. I am already realizing that this is crucial when planning a wedding and also one of the most challenging pieces of it. As facebook and pinterest inundate me daily with links to click on for how I can choose a wedding ...

Read more

But First, Love Thyself.

"You have to love yourself before you can love someone else." We've all heard this, right? It is a common belief in our society that if you are not finding the love you're looking for, you need to look at what you're doing wrong. If you're struggling with your past, that has to be fixed first. If you're struggling with your self-esteem, you need to raise that up before entering a relationship. The message is this: if you are broken, don't look to someone else to fix you. You have to figure it out on your own. 

What a challenge that can be. You see, we don't come out of the womb knowing anything, let alone what love looks like or how to give it to ourselves. That is all taught and learned. If you grew up in a caring, loving household, you have a leg up. If you grew up in a household with absent or abusive parents, you're at a disadvantage. If you're lucky, you find this love in other places, perhaps through friends or other family mem ...

Read more

DTR.

I remember a conversation I had with one of my guy friends a few months ago. "Ugh", he said. "What's wrong?" I asked. "I need to DTR", he told me. "DTR? What's that mean?" I asked. "Determine the relationship. I need to find out if she's actually going to be my girlfriend or not." My poor friend was worried that he would likely get "friend-zoned" again and that having a conversation related to the direction of this potential relationship would be its downfall. No matter what you want to call it - making it official, putting labels on it, becoming exclusive, going steady, changing your status to "in a relationship" on facebook - DTR conversations eventually happen, for better or worse, when you are exploring potential relationships. They may go in your favor, as you discover that the person you've gone on a few dates with wants to take the next step into an official, exclusive relationship. Or it may go terribly awry, as my fri ...

Read more

Loading...

Loading...

Loading...

Loading...

Loading...