For years, you've likely heard about people being classified into one of two categories based off of their energy level and way of moving through the world. In case you have no idea what I mean when I say "Type A" or "Type B", type As are go-getters. They don't like to procrastinate, they move quickly and efficiently, and they often are schedule-oriented, preferring to have a plan for their day. They feel best when they are accomplishing tasks and achieving goals. Type Bs are more laid-back. They don't mind waiting to get things done, they prefer to take their time when working on something, and they typically prefer spontaneity instead of a set schedule or plan. What feels freeing and good to a person who is type A is going to feel confining and overwhelming to a type B. So how does this work in a relationship where you may have two type As, two type Bs, or one of each? And how can you solve problems that each pairing typically runs into? Read o ...

Read more

I recently met with a client who has been experiencing some marital difficulties for a couple of years. In session, I told him that one of the things for him to determine is whether this hard time is a "season" (something that will pass) or if it feels more permanent, like something that can't be saved (a stalemate). His question back to me was, "How can I tell if it's a season?" This is a valid question and one that anybody in a long-term relationship (let's consider long-term here 10+ years) will have to ask themselves at some point. All relationships, of any kind, go through tough times and it's more common than you think for people to contemplate throwing in the towel at least once. While every relationship is unique and it's up to each person in the relationship to decide what they can tolerate (and for how long), I thought it might be helpful to lay out how I help people determine whether their current relationship struggle i ...

Read more

Most of my current friends are in romantic relationships. It may come as no surprise, but each relationship is vastly different from the others and entirely unique. Some have been together a long time, some less than a year. Some fight like cats and dogs, while some rarely do. Despite how much my friends' relationships differ from each other, I've come to realize that any relationship can be grouped into one of two categories: quiet or loud. These are terms I've created and I'm sure many experts have come up with other terms that more or less describe what I'm about to talk about in this blog (so if this sounds familiar, that's because it probably is!). My intention here is to get you thinking about what kind of relationship you have and if that's the kind of relationship you want. Many people, without even realizing it, are not getting the kind of love they want out of the relationship they're in now. 

It may fi ...

Read more