Stop Writing Your Story.

As human beings, we are designed to tell stories. It's how we make sense of the world. Stories teach us lessons. Stories entertain us. Stories educate us. Stories are incredibly important and without them, we would lose a big part of what makes us human. Stories are beautiful. I am not talking in this blog about the kinds of stories we see in books or hear while we sit around a campfire. I'm talking about the story of our life that we are often told to "write" from a young age. This is the kind of story we try desperately to write and it can do more harm than good. 

From a young age, children are asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" It is considered healthy to have goals and aspirations; and for the most part, it is. Without even realizing it, we are given messages from our families and from society at large for what our life story is supposed to look like. What career we're supposed to have. How we're supposed to look as ...

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The Masks We Wear.

Inspired by Halloween, I started thinking about how so often we "dress up" or conceal our true selves in our relationship and our lives. It's all too easy to "put on a mask", so to speak, instead of being authentic and vulnerable with our partner and ourselves. Typically, we learn to wear these masks early in life and they're essential to helping us survive different situations, such as unhealthy family dynamics, school, etc. Eventually, we can lose awareness of the mask that we're wearing and put it on without being consciously aware of what we're hiding. I will be talking about just a few of the common masks that I see people wear (myself included at times). There are many more than just these few examples, which means you may wear a mask that looks very different from these. Consider which masks you've been wearing: 

The Peacekeeper 

If you've been wearing the mask of the peacekeeper, you m ...

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After The Rain.

A number of years ago, I witnessed a ballet piece entitled "After the Rain." I've seen this piece at least 5 times onstage since and every time I cry. In 9 minutes, the two dancers convey the richness of a relationship in a way that words can't express. Something about it just gets me. If you want to watch the piece, here's a link: 

The title, "After the Rain", could mean many things to many people. To me, it's referring to the period of time after a hardship is over. The cancer is in remission - now what? Your partner got sober - now what? You left that abusive relationship - now what? Your partner returned from a deployment - now what? You're going back to work after being unemployed - now what? So often, we assume that once the rain has passed, ...

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